Nurturing your self-care
Years ago, and I can’t quite remember where, I read this story about Mother Theresa, the Catholic nun and missionary who is famous for her charitable works helping the poor, hungry, and sick people of India. The story holds a powerful lesson about nurturance.
When Mother Teresa began devoting her life to working with the poor, she would give her lunch away each day to the starving people around her. She could not reconcile eating her own lunch while she watched some many suffering from lack of food. Over time, her energy waned and she became more and more exhausted each day. Another nun noticed a decline in her ability to work with the vigor required. Mother Teresa told the nun she felt that it was wrong for her to eat when so many around her were hungry and so she gave away her lunch each day. The nun told her that she must feed herself first if she were going to help others. If she didn’t, her ability to be of service would diminish to the point where she would not be able to serve at all. Mother Teresa immediately began to eat her lunch and as you likely know, she went on to live a profound life of healing service.
The gift I received from this story is this: I can do nothing with my life if I do not first take care of myself. Nurture myself. Practice self-care. Say the word self-care in a crowded room and notice how many people say, “Get a mani-pedi or a massage.” This has always baffled me. I love a nice manicure or massage as much as anyone but it has never felt like nurturance to me. It’s nice. It’s a treat. It does not help me grow. Which is the definition of nurture: the act of caring for someone (you) or something to encourage and support growth. The nature of nurture is so much more than a temporary treat.
Nurturing me means feeding my body and my soul with consistent, loving care. Being mindful of the choices I make in my day from the food I eat and television and social media I consume to those I spend time with—friends, family, co-workers. It is the same for you. You have the opportunity to nurture yourself in a multitude of ways each day. Your choices nurture or drain you. You choose all day long what you are going to consume and how you spend your energy. Notice your body sensations as you watch a violent movie. Notice your body sensations after eating a really good meal with joyful people. Notice your body sensations when you are exhausted and choose not to rest. Whenever you can, notice what you consume and how you spend your energy (notice without judgment) and then notice the resulting body sensations. How you nurture yourself is up to you. It can be a powerful act of emotional and physical wellbeing that supports your growth or it can be a depleting, withering act that undercuts your ability to live in joy and abundance. Notice the nature of what you choose as nurturance. Are you giving away your lunch?