Power Up the True You
You have likely heard of FOMO (fear of missing out) and JOMO (joy of missing out). Both relate to making choices and meeting your own needs—or not. There is a third acronym (that I made up) that describes what I believe is a truer experience of truly meeting your needs: POMO. The POWER of missing out.
At the beginning of December, I declared this month a time to practice making choices that are in alignment with what I really need and enjoy this time of year. Inevitably, saying yes to something is saying no to something else—so called ‘missing out.’
I have been diligent about it. I don’t have it in me anymore to waste my precious hours on this planet doing things I don’t want to do, saying yes when I feel no, and meeting everyone’s needs but mine. It has been a hard and important practice for me. A practice that has yet to produce the unrealistic expectation of joy. Joy did not manifest when I said no to a friend’s party, or when I canceled attending a long-planned business event, or when I said no to a family gathering and all the expectations that went along with it.
The immediate feeling I had was fear (sometimes terror) and then guilt. I have a practice for managing big feelings and so I breathed a lot, journaled, hiked, and found some compassionate self-talk: “This is what you are supposed to feel when you do something new. It’s not comfortable for you to meet your own needs. Breathe. Your needs matter as much as anyone’s. You matter. Nothing bad is going to happen.”
Nothing bad ever happened. In fact the opposite. Admiration and support from friends. Understanding and compassion from family. The world didn’t end because I skipped the business event—neither did my business. What did happen felt like magic—I felt power. It’s POMO: the Power of Missing Out.
The more I meet my needs, the more power I feel. Every time. I can replicate the feeling of power by ensuring that my feelings and needs count as much as anyone else's. The power comes from what I experience as true self-love. Even when I say yes to something I’d rather being saying no to—if I do so on purpose and in awareness, the power still shows up. That’s POMO. And that is how you can power up the true you.
Listen to what your needs are. Choose mindfully. If you don’t, the only thing you will be missing out on is you.